i'd promise you anything for another shot at life. (thewayout) wrote in telegramupdates,
i'd promise you anything for another shot at life.

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The Untitled Celebrity AU:


“… and leave a message after the tone,” said the mechanized female voice.

“JULIE! I know you’re there, answer your damned phone.” Kit yelled. “I know you’re there, because I know that you’re there. Don’t ask me how I know. I—“

“Yes, I’m here,” Julie says. “Dripping water all over my floor, but here.”

“I need clothes,” Kit whines. “Come shop with me?”

“Wear jeans and a t-shirt, Kit,” Julie says. “We’re going to have to sneak in anyway.”

“Oh, come on, this may be the one chance you have to walk the red carpet for a movie like this!” Kit says.

“I walked the red carpet when Divine Nature premiered. At LA, New York, London, and Paris,” Julie says. “Do not give me that shit, or I’ll go with Dom and say you’re a lying sack of monkey poo. I will also be walking down the red carpet at Berlin and London, thank you very much. No one gives a shit who walks with anyone but those awful Hobbits, and Orlando.”

“The sunglass snatcher.”

“Yes, the sunglass snatcher. Anyway, I don’t think you can walk the carpet.”

“Jules, think about it. You and I can go together, since your kingly Man went back to making movies overseas, and no one will suspect that I shag the Sunglass Snatcher if I’m with you. I mean, when we go to London and Berlin, I’ll have to sneak, because no way am I going alone.”

“Everyone thinks he’s with that actress, anyway. Kate what’s-her-face.” Julie says.

“I bloody hate those rumors,” Kit says.

“They save you from the teenyboppers.” Julie says. “I cannot for the life of me remember her name. I keep thinking Hudson, but I know that’s not right, and … I’m short on Kates. Besides you. You’re a Kate. OH MY GOD.”


“Do you think that it almost got out, and then there was a picture of him talking to her, so everyone took it to mean her, because her name is Kate too?”

“You know how passionately I hate being called Kate.”

“But dude! That had to be it!”

“Stop yelling in my ear!”

“What’s her name?”

“Whose name?”

“Kate’s. Kate what? Kate who? Ugh, it’s going to drive me bonkers.”

“Are we going shopping or not?”

“If I can think of her name.”

“Julie,” Kit says, and it’s most threatening.

“Fine, we’ll go shopping.”

“Good. What time, then?”

“Oh, I don’t care. You decide. I have soap drying in my hair, and I’m… fairly dry. Oh god. Hurry and pick so I can go back to the shower.”

“You are so insane,” Kit declares.

“You, among others, wouldn’t have me any other way.” Julie says.

“You’re lucky you’re so bloody creative, or someone would have tried to strangle you long ago,” Kit says.

“Riiight,” Julie says. “How about two? That gives me an hour to get ready.”

“To my knowledge, you have never taken an hour.”

“I’m drying my hair.”

Kit laughs. “See you later, then.”

“Bye,” Julie says.

They hang up. The phone rings before Kit gets it back into the cradle.

“Hello?” she asks.

“Her name is Bosworth,” Julie says. “Kate Bosworth.”

“You are the weirdest fucking…. I don’t know what I’ve ever met.” Kit says.

“You love me anyway,” Julie says.

“I suppose.”

“An hour,” Julie says, and hangs up.

Kit just laughs and shakes her head.
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